I don't think I can say this enough.....I LOVE BEING YOUR MOMMY!!!   

Tonight after dinner we painted. I always love "watching" you explore new things. I love teaching you new words, singing new songs, dancing, painting, reading, having play dates, and really just doing anything that seems to interest you. I love to sit back and "watch" you play. I try to imagine what your thinking as you explore. 

Today, was just another one of those days that I am reminded of just how much I enjoy this new life with you and your daddy.  We love you sweet, sweet, Avery Grace!!!

 

Merry Christmas sweet Avery Grace!

Christmas has always been an excited time for me (and I'm sure for your daddy) for as long as I can remember.  However, this year it was better than I could have ever hoped for! This year it was all about giving.......giving to you! You are a very lucky little girl to have so many people in your life that love you! As we traveled "to and from" today we drove by a hitch hiker walking down I95. We passed him twice. Once as we were going and then again coming back. It made your daddy and I reflect on all the blessings we have been given. For you see sweet Avery not every child is as loved as you; not every child is given all you have been given. I hope that as your mommy I can teach you what it means to GIVE and not just to receive. I pray daily that your daddy and I can MODEL behaviors that TEACH you to be humble, giving, loving, understanding, and appreciative of all the things God has given to you.

Tonight I am writing you this letter so that one day you can not only hear about your first Christmas but, read about it! Your Christmas began December 10th when Nana, Papa, and Grandma Gigi came to visit you. Everyone came to give lots of love and kisses and to cook mommy some "good ole' home cookin". Aunt Donna, Uncle Bill, Heather, and Bo came to eat with us and open gifts. You received tons of goodies which included, books, bouncy balls, clothes, and toys! 

The next week we drove down to Columbus GA so you could see Grandma Gigi, Great-grandaddy, Uncle Robb, Aunt Carolyn, cousin Will, and some of mommy's VERY close friends, Kim, Bella, and Devon. Grandma Gigi had a beautiful gold cross necklace and bangle bracelet waiting for you when we arrived! We went to see Santa with Will and did lots of shopping with Gma Gigi. 

Yesterday, Christmas eve, Jack and Kali came over for mommy's yummy "cinnamon pull" bread and to give you a gift. That afternoon we made Christmas cookies for Santa, although you napped through most of it.  Bird, a very close friend of daddy's,  also came to bring you a gift. That night we left for the "Matthews" Christmas dinner. You were a little timid at first, but quickly "opened up" and became the main "attraction". You laughed as we laughed, you admired the Christmas decor, and you even enjoyed some yummy chicken n' dumplings, collards, turkey, and green bean casserole. We headed home a little past your bedtime, but overall you did great!!!! 

Today you woke without a sound! You gave mommy and daddy a little "extra" sleep time for Christmas! When we came into your room around 7:30 (you usually wake around 6:30) you were playing in your bed with your two babies. Daddy and I were supposed to be up already starting breakfast for when your Grandma, Granddaddy, Aunt Jamie, Poppy and Nettie came, so needless to say, the rest of the morning went by very quickly. While daddy started breakfast, you nursed and then we came downstairs to find "Santa" had left tons of things for you!!!!  Once everyone arrived we all ate breakfast together and then by 9:00 you were ready for your first nap. 
As you napped, daddy packed the car to get ready to head to Selma, to see Grandma and Grandpa Earp and tons of others who love you! You loved your new mini piano!! As we headed home, daddy sang to you and fed you cheerios to help keep you content because, by then you were WAY OVERSTIMULATED!!   

You napped later into the day so we missed out on going to Aunt Tina's house, but we plan to go see her later this week. Once you woke, your Grandma, Granddaddy, Granny and Aunt Jamie came to the house to open your gifts from them. You received a wagon,clothes, puzzles, a baby stroller, CD and some beautiful earrings.

After dinner, we  did our usual bedtime routine together and we attempted to put you into bed close to your bedtime.......attempted.    Haha!!!  By 7:00 you were UNUSUALLY fussy so we headed off to bed. Once you nursed you decided it was playtime again! I rocked you and sang to you, then laid you down. Well, since you decided you "weren't" tired, daddy came in to help you to sleep. (Sometimes you like to just play with mommy) Daddy and I do this type of "tag in and out" with you on the VERY FEW nights you need some extra "lovin".  Well, by the time daddy got back downstairs you began to "call out" for us again. So, this time I "tagged" back in and we rocked, laughed, sang together and you nursed again. It was during that time (by now it was going on 9:00pm) that I realized I wanted to write you this letter. It was during that time that I realized that at THAT VERY MOMENT,  I KNEW that this is what life is ALL about!! Even though it was WAY past your bedtime, I was calm, happy, and even excited to spend some extra alone time with you.  I knew you were JUST sooooo excited from the day and needed some extra "winding down time". SO, what better way to end the day then with a few "rasberry blows" to the tummy, giggles, kisses and TONS of I LOVE YOU's!!!!!! 

So you see ALL this for you and we are all happy to do it!  We love you sweet Avery Grace.

PS...when I came downstairs your amazing daddy had already began a letter for you and with tear filled eyes he began to read your letter to me: 

 

December 25, 2011

Dear Avery,

As I sit here while your mommy is upstairs with you trying to help you fall asleep, I wanted to write you a letter to read, when you are older, to let you know how much you mean to us.  You are an amazing little girl, and I am not just saying that because I am your father.  Your mommy and I talk every day about how lucky we are to have such a happy little girl. I can definitely say you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on.  Your smile lights up the room and you have a wonderful personality.  We look forward to waking up every day to see you waiting on us to come tell you good morning and for your mommy to sing “Rise and Shine, and give God your Glory, Glory.”  Your daddy’s favorite song to sing to you is Amazing Grace, and I have sung that to you since you were born.  Every day spent with you is wonderful and we want nothing more than to spend every waking moment with you.  You are the first thing that we think of when we wake up and the last thing that we pray for before we go sleep.  In between, I am sure that we dream about you.

You are a very lucky little girl to have such an amazing mommy.  She truly does make every decision in your best interest.  When you are happy, we are happy.  When you are sad, we are sad.  When you learn how to do something new, we are excited as you are (In the past few days, you have been taking your first steps and we are so excited). When you hurt, we hurt and would take that hurt if we could to make you feel better.  You are our life now and we love seeing you happy.  Your mommy has even learned to live with the mess that we make every day while we play. 

Today was your first Christmas, and I was so excited to see you come down the stairs to see what Santa Claus had left you.  Last night, we made cookies and milk to leave from Santa.  When we woke up this morning, the fireplace was half open because Santa could not close it as he left up the chimney.  The cookies were half eaten and the milk was gone.  You tried your best to finish the cookies that Santa did not eat.  You had so many toys and you couldn’t figure out which one you wanted to play with more.  Your favorite toy was your sensory balls.  You held one in your hand the whole day and would not let them go.  Other things Santa left you were toys, a wagon, building blocks, toys, magnet letters that stick to the refrigerator, your very own chair with your name on it, and toys.  Our house looks like a toy store, but you are one happy baby.  Your mommy and daddy also bought you many toys and a sterling silver heart charm bracelet.  Daddy bought Mommy a diamond bracelet with your birthstone on it.  This will be yours one day (if you can convince her to give it to you). 

As I write you this letter, my emotions are getting to me.  I have tears all over the keyboard because I am so happy to be your Daddy.  You make me so proud and I look forward to making more memories with my little girl.  You are growing up so fast and we have such great plans for you.  You are loved by many people and your number one fan is your Daddy!

I love you Avery Grace!

Daddy

Will I be??

Will I be that mom who when is asked, "Oh, you breastfed?! For how long?" Then has to answer, "Oh just 48 months!!" lol

Who knew someone like me, who can spend two hours at the gym, who often stands to watch TV shows (so that I can do 4 other things at the same time), and who can barely sit still to go to the bathroom would LOVE SOOOOO much just sitting in a quiet, dark room, rocking away with NOT one worry or thought of anything other than my sweet little baby girl!! 

Tonight, Avery actually allowed me to rock and nurse her to sleep and I loved it!! Yes, "allowed" me. I say that because I have always scheduled Avery's feeding time for as soon as she wakes. This was to help teach her to fall asleep on her own, without being nursed, before all naps and bedtime........ To "self-soothe" herself. I do not regret my choice of the eat, play, sleep pattern for Avery but, I can definitely now see why mothers have a hard time weaning those babies who nurse themselves to sleep. It is very easy to love!

Breastfeeding and I had a love/hate relationship not too long ago. It was NOT easy being a first-time mom and NOT having a clue what to do with this new little baby while also trying to figure out HOW to breastfeed!!!!!! In the beginning, I was given a chart (from the hospital) to document everything....well, my TYPE A personality took it to the EXTREME!!! You can't give me a piece of paper and ask me to document/write anything without going way over the top, ask my husband! So, there I was studying the clock and timing Avery's every feed, poop, pee, and left or right starting side. I was so wrapped up in the clock and how long she was eating that I forgot to SLOW DOWN and realize Avery was not just a little doll needing to be fed "AT LEAST every 3 hours".  So, here I am, starting to wish I had those first few months back.

Now, nearly 4 months later I am starting to wonder "so, will I be that mother.....?"  I know that if you would have asked me after 3 weeks, 5 weeks, 8 weeks, and even 10 weeks on some days just how long I would keep nursing...... and I might have said "today will be my last day" But, the truth is Avery may have to wean herself when she is ready....cause I may never make her!!!! :0) It has been A HUGE lifestyle change for me and Chad but we both feel for now, it is whats best for little Miss Avery.

We love you Avery Grace!!!!

Mothers

So, as I laid awake last night "watching" Avery sleep I realized something I have NEVER truly realized before....Motherhood is definitely an amazing, happy, emotional, exciting, exhausting experience and, ITS ONLY BEEN 5 1/2 weeks for me!!!!!!!  Its funny how God has made us (women).  Even though I was so exhausted I couldn't sleep and was easily aroused by Avery's every sound.

Then, that led me into thinking of all the special people in our (me, Chad, and Avery) lives and the hundreds of Thank you notes that need to be finished which, can not describe how GRATEFUL we are!!!!!!!  And of course it also got me thinking of all the mothers in my life that I love very much....And I have TONS: mothers, step-mothers, mother-in-laws, grandmothers, step-grandmothers, grandmother-in-laws etc But the one I thought about most last night was my mom.

Mom, I HAVE NEVER SAID THIS ENOUGH...... I LOVE YOU! Thank you for sacrificing your life for mine and my siblings. When I say your life I mean, your body, your mind, your breast, your sleepless nights, your hormones, your girly parts, your emotions, your lifestyle before us, etc. I know its a little specific but, I wanted to be specific to show you just how much I understand  more now more than ever! I also started to think...How did you manage all you did when I was born????  I only have one child (with an EXTREMELY helpful husband) and she is giving me a "run for my money" You, on the other hand, were younger than me, had a 3 year old and were going through a divorce. All be fore I was 12 weeks old. How you managed so much so early I do not know!!!!  So, again, thank you for all you have done for me.......and I am proud to call you my MOM!!!!

As for now, I know I have much more growing and learning to do as a mommy and I look forward to every minute!!!  I love you Avery Grace VERY MUCH!!!!

Who knew?!

Today is our hmmmm....the 2nd night in our home, yes, 2nd. All the days seem to be running together. I find myself asking Chad aka Daddy everyday, "What day was Avery born?". I know, seems strange to me too. I feel like I have been thrown into a world I never knew would be SOOOOO good. Avery was born February 23, 2011. She weighted 8 lbs 10 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long....basically too long for the birth canal. So, the Dr. had me admitted into the hospital 5 days after my due date for what he said would probably lead to a c-section....and it did. I had always told myself either way, c-section, natural, or with the help of an epidural, I would be okay with it however, I never imagined the other possibility.  When I went in for the c-section the spinal  did not work and I could verbally tell the Dr. that I felt everything he was doing. (starting to operate/cut/pinch, etc)  Also, at this time Chad had yet to arrive in the operating room. So, not long after the Dr. realized I could feel "things" he told one of the nurses to get Chad and then the next thing I remember, I was on a "spaceship" spinning. I knew somewhere deep in my mind that I was put "under" and I couldn't understand why or what was happening.  It was NOT a good feeling. When I woke up in recovery I was alone. NO baby, NO husband, NO family. Just a nurse asking "How do you feel?" All I can remember is asking over and over, "where is the baby?"  "Where is my husband?" "Is he with her?". I felt awful, like I had missed my first child's birth.  I find myself asking now, WHY didn't the dr. tell me he was putting me asleep?????!!!!!  I knew from taking a birthing class with Chad that recovery would last an hour. So, I kept asking the nurse how long I had been back there. Well, when almost 3 hours past I began to think all kinds of awful thoughts. "Will the baby feed?" "Will she not know who I am?" "Was she alone crying in the nursery?" ALL kinds of crazy things. Meanwhile, I could hear the nurses answer the phone several times telling Mr. McLamb (Chad)  "We are waiting for transportation to pick her up, it won't be too much longer"

Well, by 12:30 I FINALLY had Avery in my arms. Most of the beginning of that day is still a little bit of a blur BUT, I HAD MY LITTLE GIRL and that was all that mattered. She was healthy, big and healthy, 10 fingers 10 little toes and she was all OURS!!! God is GOOD all the TIME!!!

Of course, there were several other events that happened throughout our 4 days in the hospital some exciting, (family and friends) some scary, (Avery aspirating and turning blue) some funny, (Avery pooping out so much green she looked like a frog) but most importantly, I watched everyday our  " little family growing". Chad and I were a team. A team that had to work together to get Avery fed, cleaned, and asleep. Was it easy, NO! But, it was in those 4 days, I knew Chad and I could do ANYTHING as long as we were together. God could not have given me a more AMAZING husband and now little girl. This is more  than I could ever ask for!!!! Throughout the last several days Chad has been here to tell me just how good he thinks I am doing, and how much he appreciates even the things he doesn't really  understand, like breastfeeding. He is my rock, and what keeps me going. And, of course, my sweet little Avery.

Dear Avery

Dear Avery,



This is NOT what I call "SPARE" time. This is TOOO early in the morning time. Thank you for an amazingly easy pregnancy however, WHERE is THE CANCEL button?! You know the one like the one on the toaster??!! Mommy and Daddy are very ready to meet you and can't wait to be spending the hours awake seeing your beautiful face...rather, than Mommy making a "to do" list and Daddy just snoooooozing away!

Love, Mommy

P.S. I am not jealous at all that Daddy has slept like a rock these last 9 months cause, I know he has it coming!! HEHEHE

Why I started a blog

Okay, so I started this blog to occupy some of my "spare" time noting how Chad and I feel about our new addition to the family...... rather than always planning and scheduling and rescheduling things that can/will just fall into place on their own. However, I started this blog back in June, when we first found out about "baby Avery", and just now....8 + months later, I am finally writing something! Avery Grace is due February 17th and we couldn't be more excited. 12 DAYS TO GO!!